In between the nuzzling and knuckle-locking, Michelle Obama has been letting slip more personal stuff about her relationship with Barack. First, there was the news about his snoring keeping her awake; then she joked about him being useless in the kitchen; now she has called him an accessory. Some would have us believe that Mrs O’s revelations are damaging. Are they kidding? She and Barack are way ahead of the game. To be a success now, you have to cut it as a couple, and not just a power couple — a couple with chemistry. Last year, you merely had to form a united front; now you have to look good together, appear easy in each other’s company and demonstrate convincingly that you are a) in love and b) having plenty of sex. How the Obamas deliver as a couple is as crucial to his presidential ambitions as his politics — and, fortunately, they do good Couple Porn (CP).

CP has come into its own this summer. We’ve had Brangelina setting the standard, with round-the-clock advertisements for their commitment and fecundity. We’ve had Carla and Nicolas doing their postcoital, get-a-room thing, and Sam and David Cameron loved up on the beach in Cornwall. You may say that couples in the public eye have always been photographed, but take a close look at the tone of these images. Where Bill might have given Hillary a wholesome peck on the cheek for the benefit of the cameras, now we have Dave kissing Sam’s hair, while she, eyes closed, breathes in the love. Meanwhile, over in Southwold, Gordon and Sarah were gamely going through the motions, but where was the porn? Nowhere. (Note, Tony and Cherie — mainly Cherie — were early pioneers of CP, albeit in its most basic form.)

CP has already changed the way we think about couples. In a remarkably short space of time we’ve got used to it, and now the absence of the porn factor makes couples seem repressed, uptight and miserable — see Gordon and Sarah. (This rule doesn’t only apply to celebs and public figures: in real life, couples everywhere are feeling the pressure to demonstrate their intimacy, as seen in the intertwined finger-lock that has taken over from straightforward hand-holding.) In a world where relationships are often just for Christmas, we are suckers for the genuine public display of togetherness, and the best news about CP is that you can’t fake it.

Many is the couple who have attempted to manufacture CP: Posh and Becks oiled up for various fashion shoots; Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (the more they try to look deeply into each other, the more you doubt they’ve ever actually done it); Kate Moss and Jamie Hince (the body language was just never quite right, was it?). But the competition is tough. Tomorrow I am heading off for my Cornish holiday, and will the ghost of Sam Cam be stalking us and every hassled couple on the beach?

You bet.

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