Fiona Sims
Pick up your copy of Joy Division: Closer at WHSmith today

Little tip: avoid the A4 at the top of Warwick Road, near Earls Court, West London, on the morning of April 24, if you can. If not, you're likely to witness the surreal sight of a cauliflower funeral. Yes, if everything goes to plan, Phillip Lowery, the organiser of The Real Food Festival, will be leading his “pallbearers” (read assorted farmers) to the giant Tesco on Cromwell Road to “bury” a coffin-full of British cauliflowers to highlight their plight.
Well, it's better, surely, than the rampaging and hostage-taking that the French did recently to focus attention on the vegetable's demise. The problem, farmers say, is that British (and French) supermarkets are failing to give them a fair price for their produce, which means that it's no longer a viable crop and many are forced to abandon growing it altogether. Cauliflower cheese may never be the same again.
Instead of your lovingly raised British cauliflower, grown in our trace-element-rich chalky soils (they love a bit of chalk), wet with morning dew (in farmers' markets, at least), soon we might be able to buy only bland varieties, shrink-wrapped and chilled to within an inch of their lives, transported from Thailand or Guatemala. A crying shame, for sure, but a cauliflower funeral - a bit dramatic, isn't it?
“It's metaphor for what's happening across the food sector in this country. Today cauliflower, tomorrow pigs,” declares Lowery.
“If the supermarkets refuse to pay the right prices, the producers will go out of business. And to get consumers on board, we've got to grab their attention - and the cauliflower coffin is a great photo opportunity, don't you think?” he adds, with a grin.
The “funeral” procession will kickstart his Save the Cauliflower campaign (to sign the petition, go to www.realfoodfestival.co.uk), which launches at the festival. The aim is to raise the profile of the cauliflower, highlighting its importance to our food heritage and its health benefits - without being too preachy, of course.
Expect some big-name chefs at the show, Raymond Blanc among them, to be using cauliflower wherever possible in their demos; and a fair number of the 400 or so producers to show off a cauliflower or three on their stands at the “largest farmers' market in the world”.
Richard Hurst, the chairman of the National Farmers Union (NFU) Horticultural Board, will be there, sporting his black armband. He knows only too well what this means for farmers. “We estimate that each grower has been making a loss of between £400 and £500 per acre. If they don't have a good year this year it could be the end of the British cauliflower,” says Hurst.
“But we need consumers to play ball, as well as supermarkets. They tell us that consumers don't want to pay more [a cauli costs 79p in Tesco], so we need consumers to change their habits, too. We hope the message gets through. But we'll keep banging on until it does; it's about more than just cauliflowers,” he says.
It's Geoffrey Philpott's life. He grows 300 fungicide-free acres of cauliflowers on his Kent farm and has been doing so for 20 years. “The supermarkets have been squeezing us harder and harder every year. So I'm not looking at it long-term any more. I'll probably just go back to cereals,” he shrugs.So, go on, then, what's your favourite way of cooking a cauli? “Battered,” Philpott grins. “But it is healthy, you know. Cauliflowers contain fibre and folic acid, and they are packed with vitamin C. And caulis aren't far behind broccoli in the cancer-fighting stakes.”
The Real Food Festival, takes place at Earls Court, West London, April 24-27. Visit www.realfoodfestival.co.uk for more details
CHEFS' CAULIFLOWER RECIPES
DAVE MYERS and SI KING, hosts of the TV cookery show The Hairy Bikers, say: “We're both partial to cauliflower. Our favourite is cauliflower soup, and we love bubble and squeak made with cauliflower instead of cabbage. But the very best is our perfect cauliflower cheese.”
PERFECT CAULIFLOWER CHEESE
Serves 4
1 large cauliflower, trimmed and broken into florets
250ml whole milk
200g grated Gruyère cheese
250g chestnut mushrooms, sliced fine
2 tbsp olive oil and 50g butter
2 tbps plain flour
tsp English mustard powder
A sprinkling of nutmeg
50g ciabatta breadcrumbs
50g finely grated Parmesan cheese
In a big saucepan boil the cauliflower florets for about 10 minutes until just soft, drain and set aside. While this is happening, sauté the mushrooms in the olive oil until just taking on a bit of colour, set them aside. Melt the butter in a saucepan and beat in the flour, then add the milk, stirring all the time, to make a thick white sauce. Stir in the mustard powder, add the cheese, stirring all the time. Check the seasoning. Fold in the mushrooms. In an oven dish, place the cauliflower florets, pour on top the cheesy mushroom sauce. Grate over some nutmeg. Mix the ciabatta crumbs with the Parmesan cheese and cover the cauliflower. Place in a hot oven for about 15 minutes until the sauce is bubbling and the crumbs are golden.
Nutritionist's verdict This recipe is good vitamin C and contains more than your daily requirement of bone-building calcium
SRIRAM AYLUR, the executive chef of the Indian restaurant Quilon, in Central London, says: “The good thing about cauliflower is that it acts like a sponge for spices. This recipe is a variation on a Mangalore street dish. Cauliflower has such a meaty texture and it holds its shape well. In the following recipe for Gobi Kempu, it is crunchy and soft at the same time - how many vegetables can do that?”
GOBI KEMPU
Serves 4 as an appetiser
400g cauliflower florets
250g rice flour
50g chilli paste
1 egg (optional)
Salt to taste
10 green chillies
10 curry leaves
50ml natural yoghurt
Vegetable oil for deep-frying
Mix rice flour with chilli paste, egg (optional) and salt into a thick batter with about 100ml water. Add the cauliflower to the batter and stir to coat. Heat oil and deep-fry cauliflower. Heat pan with a little oil. Add slit green chillies, curry leaves and yoghurt. When the yoghurt starts to boil, add the deep-fried cauliflower and toss.
Nutritionist's verdict It is hard to say that deep-fried food is healthy. The batter absorbs oil so this starter would be quite high in fat. On the plus side, you would be getting one serving of your five-a-day vegetables. AMANDA URSELL, The Times nutritionist
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I'm afraid the very word fills me with horror. I have dark memories of cauliflower as an institutional standard boiled to within an inch of consistency and then smothered in a cheese(ish) sauce and left under hot lamps for days to congeal into a grey, fart flavoured scum. Let it die, I say!
Mike, London,
I was on a cruise liner that called into Almeria (Spain), centre of one of the largest vegetable-growing areas in Europe. The ship stocked up with vegetables, and I watched the boxes coming on board. All prime local produce ?
Not a chance - nearly all the boxes were labelled "Product of China"
Ray Arn, Manchester, UK
Cauliflowers! I bought one at the farmers' market - veg on Mon, Chickpea and Cauli curry Tuesday, Cauliflower Cheese soup on Wed and Thurs, & Cauliflower soup with bacon and dumplings on Fri and Sat. True, it was the size of a small baby, but it only cost a quid. Cauli is great - Save the Cauli!
Isobel Williams, Mumbles, Swansea, UK
A good cauliflower is a splendid thing, but I now rarely buy the vegetable unless it comes from a grower I know.
Most of those I've had from supermarkets in recent years have been of truly dreadful quality, looking perfect but devoid of any flavour. This has been true of UK produced examples. Presumably air freighted ones would be even worse.
Geoffrey lake, Carbost, Skye
Well, if cauliflowers go the same way as green beans, that'll be another vegetable I will refuse to eat as it only comes from a distant country. If we can grow a certain variety of fruit and vegetable in northern Europe, that is where we should grow it - not in some faraway place where it wouldn't normally be planted.
But.. people often confuse quantity with quality and want to pay less and less for things whilst being paid more and more for their own services...
Tina, Dusseldorf, Germany