GILES COREN
Once upon a time, a man on the hunt for a wife would set great store by a
woman who could cook. But things have changed. And to be honest, I’ll settle
for a woman who can eat. A woman who doesn’t poke her food around the plate
and hide things under her knife and claim to have a thousand intolerances
and allergies. A woman who isn’t “off carbs”, “not drinking this year”,
“toying with the macrobiotic thing” or made to “feel funny” by red wine. I
don’t want to sound narrow-minded. If I truly love her, then I guess we
could always work the food thing through. As long as she isn’t always
“tired”. Men are either awake or asleep, but women are always “exhausted”.
What the hell is that? If you’re tired, woman, go to bed.
Also, I want a woman who is prepared to admit that what she wants from a man
is a big c*** and a lot of money. I am fed up with women always claiming
that what they find most sexy is a sense of humour. Because it isn’t true. I
know this because I am hilarious. Way more funny than most of the
slack-arsed, car-obsessed, office wonk baldies you’ll meet in a wine bar on
a Friday night, and yet I practically never get laid. If it were true that
women are turned on by a man who makes them laugh, Woody Allen wouldn’t have
had to marry his own daughter.
As for a woman with a sense of humour, that’s fine, as long as it simply means
that she will laugh at my jokes. Most women only laugh at their own jokes.
Shut up. If you say something funny, I’ll let you know. And don’t give me
“career”. Only women have “careers”. Men have jobs, to get money, and if we
could stop and have babies while someone else earned the loot, believe me,
we would. We don’t need a “career” to feel validated. We don’t want to feel
validated. We just want to feel boobs. As many as possible. And then, at the
last minute, quickly have babies and then die.
ALEX JAMES
“Long-legged, expensive, bossy, messy wife required. GSOH not essential in the
mornings, but must be able to climb trees and beat me at tennis sometimes.”
I’m not sure if that’s exactly what I would have written before I met her, but
that’s what I got and she’s perfect for me. The moment I stop believing my
wife is my ideal woman, I guess it’s over. No man can ever be sure whether
he’s got a Linda or a Heather on his arm as the confetti falls, but I’m
certain that nobody ever walks down the aisle with any sense of compromise.
The whole absurdly wonderful, almost impossibly romantic thing about all
marriages is that what you are saying to each other is: “You and me, we’re
perfect.”
I suppose all men must conjure notions of their ideal partner. Mmmm, let’s
see, I’ll take a big slice of Zeta-Jones with some Germaine Greer on top and
the Abi Titmuss sauce — but these Frankenstein birds would never fly.
Choosing a mate is not like buying a car or a house. Until she comes along,
we have no idea what we really like: my imagination couldn’t hold a candle
to the real thing. The best part of falling in love with Claire was
discovering all the things I didn’t know I wanted or needed.
Of course, it’s not been all roses. There are whacking great thorns, but
they’re a vital part of it, too. I think you’ve got to be able to surprise
each other sometimes, without meaning to. Our daughter was born last week.
Claire was pulling faces I’d never seen before and crushing my hand in hers.
“Does anyone ever manage to do this without the swearwords?” I asked the
midwife. Oh, yes, she said gently, through the torrent of obscenities. It
struck me then that Claire, in her mind probably far from her best or most
elegant, was incapable of not looking good, and even her swearing had a kind
of grace to it.
I’d never seen Claire, or anyone, look so beautiful. Then I saw my daughter,
and that’s a whole other story.
AA GILL
The most attractive attribute in a woman, the most melting, the most utterly
winning, is gratitude. And the older you get, the more attractive it
becomes. The nice thing for men who have been short-changed by Adonis, or
fallen out of the ugly tree, is that gratitude is the one honest, decent and
admirable emotion money can buy. And surprisingly, quite a small amount of
money. You will find it in nature: I recently watched a David Attenborough
programme about the bower bird. The male of the species spends all his time
preparing the nest in an effort to attract a mate. Day after day, he will
bring bauble after bauble — a tireless display of devotion to his future
bird. But I saw it slightly differently. It’s not a virtuoso act of love.
It’s more what women will do for a couple of bottle tops and an old Oyster
card.
But, actually, this is the wrong question altogether. When Casanova was very,
very old, and was asked how he had been the most successful seducer of women
in the history of sex, he said it was because he loved women, and that there
was, in every woman, something that was divinely beautiful, and his gift was
that he alone had been able to see it in everyone, when so many other men
couldn’t. I knew a man like that once, a white-van man I used to drink with
in a pub. He was one of the most unattractive men: sweat-stained
wife-beater, paunch, hairy back, a face that looked like it had been made
out of melted tyres. He had a foul mouth and fouler breath, was utterly
bereft of charm, but all anyone could talk about was how much and how often
he got laid. I thought he was patently lying, but he insisted it was
absolutely true. So I asked him why he got lucky so much. He said: “I drive
round delivering things all day. I’ve got a mattress in the back.” That
doesn’t make you any more attractive. “I drive slowly with the sliding door
open. Every girl I pass, I say, ‘Do you want a shag?’ And every so often,
one in a hundred says yes. It doesn’t take very long to ask a hundred. But
that’s not the big deal. The big deal is when they say yes, you’ve got to.”
Now that’s gratitude.
MATT RUDD
I’ll be honest, in five years of marriage, I quickly learnt to be too afraid
to imagine the perfect woman. If I had even so much as looked off into the
middle distance and begun to picture a half-Swedish, half-Japanese,
permanently 25-year-old, 5ft 8in bisexual gymnast with a medium cup, a
penchant for tastefully slutty cocktail dresses and an erotically feisty
side that meant arguments about the Iraq war always deteriorated into sex
rather than slammed doors, my wife would have known. Now that I have been
asked, in a professional capacity, to reveal my views on female perfection,
she says I have immunity. That is obviously a lie. A man trap. She will read
this and I won’t be allowed to go to Tokyo or Stockholm or bisexual-gymnast
meets ever again. So, obviously, my perfect woman is my wife.
But there are ways to improve on perfection. First, the perfect woman would
show far greater tolerance of her perfect man’s habits. She would allow, for
example, just off the top of my head, not that I have a list or anything,
the following: sugar in tea; a healthy scepticism of yoga and/or arnica; at
least one curry a week; nonorganic deodorant (ie stuff that works); and free
rein in Blockbuster at least twice a year (free rein to include films with
explosions in them).
Second, she’d intuitively understand and accept that she was the less
accomplished driver. And map reader. And satnav operator.
Third, she would not make any conversation during Sky Cops, Street Wars, Road
Wars, Cops on Camera, Cops with Cameras or, latterly, Caribbean Cops.
Fourth and finally, for we don’t want to be unreasonable about these things,
she would hate having all the duvet. She would not sleep in a starfish
shape. And she would always get the tea in the morning. With sugar in, but I
think we have already covered that.
TOM STUBBS
Questing for the perfect woman is folly. A check list gets a man nowhere. Like
buying property, you’ll never find all you desire: “I really like her: high
ceilings, great amenities, but does she have a south-facing garden?” In my
own case, foolishly harbouring a romantic ideal has left me marooned, like a
cross between Carrie Bradshaw and Travis Bickle, but with more shoes, fewer
guns, and the same chin-up routine.
But since you’re interested, here it is. Proficient deployment of glamorous
high heels is essential — I call it altitude slickness. She’ll also require
the knack of delivering the brushoff to unwanted, intrusive men. Some women
have instinctive pest-control abilities, some don’t. My ideal girl also
smells lovely and is excellent with profanities, emitting surprising and
haphazard outbursts. Her cooking ability is immaterial, but she delights in
her food. I’m needy-phobic, so her independence is crucial, as she runs a
vigorous schedule of her own activities. We meet without unsavoury
embroilment and enjoy jealousy-free satellite manoeuvring, once loyalty is
pledged. It’s black and white for me, so no green eye from her. She’ll offer
to pay her way; who actually pays is irrelevant, but willingness is
critical. Her love of music reveals passion for life, while her dance moves
will confirm this.
I’d consider a liaison with 70%, ono, of the above criteria satisfied. I guess
you could also chuck in the poise of Rachael WW in Blade Runner, the chic of
Faye Dunaway in The Thomas Crown Affair and the impact of the girl on the
Rio album cover by Duran Duran. What’s wrong with high aspiration? I’ll be
saying that in the queue for my pension, pondering whether the striking
open-plan reception with balcony and sought-after views was “the one”.
DOM JOLY
Let’s start with Béatrice Dalle from Betty Blue, but without the mental side.
I fancied her when I was 16 — I thought she was gorgeous, exotic, and I
liked the idea of having a French girlfriend. Then I once saw her
interviewed and realised she was an absolute lunatic. I kind of like
stability; I’m pretty all over the shop myself, so I like someone to balance
it out. Now I’ve grown up, my ideal has got even more sensible, boring even,
such as Jennifer Aniston.
I also have a thing about noses. My wife has a normal nose, but when she lined
up pictures of all my exes, she pointed out that they all had prominent
ones. I do like weird, strong noses. Not Jodie Marsh, obviously. Natascha
McElhone has a wonderful nose, and I had a big crush on Laura Dern in Wild
at Heart, but that went with Jurassic Park.
I am very disappointed that I have a crush on Sarah Palin — and I don’t think
I’m alone. I loathe everything about her politically, but there’s something
about her. It’s not the librarian bun and glasses, it’s just that I find
women in power attractive, perhaps because they’re bright. I can’t stand
women like Kate Moss. She is hideous, the exact example of a skank I would
snog at Glastonbury and end up regretting. I think Agyness is gorgeous, but
reminds me of the girls I fancied at 18.
Having a similar sense of humour is obviously a biggie, because if they don’t,
the whole thing goes downhill. Sarcasm, cynicism, maybe a goth past —
although I do tend to like sloaney girls, which feeds into the nose thing.
My ideal woman used to be Patti Smith on the cover of Horses. She’s got that
very cool, confident New York vibe, that no-bullshit stuff. All my life I’ve
thought I’ve known what I was after, but I have never ended up with it — and
what I have ended up with is a 5ft 2in Canadian blonde, who turns out to be
ideal.
The ideal man? By Camilla Long
Under normal circumstances, my ideal man would be anyone who can make me laugh
with his clothes on. That, or the entire Oxford Blues rugby team trapped
under a net, ankles tied. Or . . . or . . . David Miliband. Either way, my
ideal man changes every three minutes. I’ve got the romantic attention span
of a trainee painter-decorator.
But then I was deployed to interview the most handsome man in the world (tough
call that one). Bearded French male model Patrick Petitjean is a 6ft
wonderwall of bristle, craggy Mount Rushmore cheekbones and (hopefully) some
kind of torrid Gallic charisma. He has appeared endlessly as a handsome,
hetero, aspirational male model in men’s magazines, headed up an H&M
campaign and has single-handedly brought the beard back to the mainstream.
But that wasn’t all. “’E ’as the heart of an hartist,” cooed his agent in
Paris. “’E lives in the mountains in the south of France, where he makes and
sells furniture.” A hot, French, cave-dwelling furniture-maker? Jesus! As I
steamed into Paris on Eurostar, my mind was already fast-forwarding. So I’d
move to the south of France and live in a tree. He would be a
model/carpenter/whatever and could be a lady novelist, and not at all unlike
Brigitte Bardot. I quickly envisioned us, deux enfants down the line,
happily unloading pains d’épices out of a (wooden) car at the Carrefour
outside Lourdes. Never mind I couldn’t speak French beyond Tricolore Stage 3
and he could only speak with his . . . hands. It’d be the greatest love
story ever.
Let’s just say I smelled the roll-ups round about Calais. The soul of an
artist? The lungs of a nicotine-marinated haddock more like. And then there
was the communication problem. Let’s just say my questions — “Où est la
plage?”, “Le dernier train part à quelle heure?’, etc — didn’t inspire his
“énergie”. Then, finally, goodness me, was that a twinkle in his eye? We
crossed like ships in the night. Just as I cooled off, he warmed up. Another
one bit the dust. Le sigh.
So, there you are: my ideal man is a man who lasts the course, or at least
more than three minutes. And not someone French. My mother wouldn’t have
tolerated it.
kevin booker, devonshie, UK you stated 'my ideal woman landed in my lap when i was @ my lowest' Just wondered was she working at the time? just kidding.
Susy, Kent, UK
Other men justifiably lust after her, clean sheets on the bed every three days and always clean shirts and pants ready to wear. Lots of fresh vegetables in a varied diet cooked by her fair hands; she tells me she loves me every day after 24 years together, as I do her. What else can a man want?
B J Deller, Marbella, Spain
In my experience, the pretty they are the more loony, neurotic or it is more like being in a cage with rats.
If they are a rather large, they think all men are hitting on them when you are being polite.
if it is all going wrong then they surround themselves with witches who hate men.
So no perfect
Howard Leech, Gdansk, Poland
Oh for goodness sake they are just other consuming human beings.
wayne, huntingdon, cambridgeshire
my ideal woman landed in my lap when i was @ my lowest. 3 years of self loathing,to many pints day,lads always there to laugh with ,nevertheless,lonely. She was,is,13 years my junior,drop dead beauty.complete opposite of my ex..all the women my age now hate me; D
kevin booker, devonshie, UK
While I'm still in university, I've been going out with the woman of my dreams for two years now. I always wanted a literary woman who could run circles around me in metaphor, and she always wanted a cowboy. But somehow, we ended up with each other. I guess she'll have to take care of the cows.
Brett, Newport News, USA
My love of 5 years is my perfect man. He's a genius, egotistical & requires constant doting & attention. I'm intelligent, neurotic & clingy. He drinks, I can't, so I drive. His culinary forte is dinner. Mine are breakfast & dessert. Above all, we are loyal & find immeasurable comfort in each other.
Kristen, Melbourne, FL, USA
Someone passionate, someone smart enough to foster motivating insecurity, loyal enough to guarantee devotion, tackful and discerning enough to be brought anywhere, reasonable with money and children and of course the enduring good looks of Raquel Welch.
Did I mention Passionate?
Steve, Derby, UK
"This article is entitled "What makes an ideal woman? yet some women have chosen to use it as a forum to discuss what they feel makes an ideal man. My ideal woman is one who does not have a list of must-have attributes for her ideal man."
Hear hear! Might I add "is fair minded and non-hypocritical"
Dan, Farnborough, UK
this was very funny - especially the bit written by Giles Coren...HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
veronica, wandsworth, London
NO such thing as an ideal woman, or an ideal man, or an ideal dog come to think of it.....
now...
"what make the least worst woman?"
Jim, jim,
My ideal woman is -- usually with someone else!
Ron Graves, Birkenhead, UK
Hahahahahaha still naivity overlaps logic in the search of ideal women.
It seem s to be all a conceprtion anyway perhaps humanity one day will get to see the ideal women but today we're no where near hahahahahha
Lec Neli, London, UK
the ideal woman ... can handle the truth after she's asked the question, tells the truth when asked a question and has absolutely NO intention of changing her husband after she's married him.
the ideal man ... can put up with a woman.
David M, Manchester, Britain (not Great)
My ideal woman?I made a list,way back:Aware,smart,strong,compassionate,loves life,not a religious or any kind of nut,likes sex,easygoing,principled,sporty,looks unimportant long as not scary.Forgot the list in a cellar.Years later I fell in love,dug up my list,and she is it,in all the major stuff
Zen, Kalgoorlie, Australia
What a wonderful man you are, Kevin from Wirral, you are describing me to a tee. Does anyone else appreciate these qualities in women like you do?
Valerie, Wokingham, Berkshire
Ask a poet.
David, Cheshire,
Mr Perfect is never Mr Right.
However, Mr Right is Mr Perfect.
I have fallen in love with a tall, dark rugby-playing gentleman who is introverted yet sensual. He has many faults, yet I feel that is what makes him who he is.
Joanna K D, London, United Kingdom
I like the ones wearing dark-coloured business suits who try to walk and talk like men - irresistible. Especially working for a woman like this is heaven on earth, and there are so many of these in the work force - now, wonderful. Thank goodness for diversity and equality.
Gunther Milquetoast, London W2,
Sometimes I wonder if we're all so hung up on finding our "ideal" that we miss out. I'm currently dating a man who seemed so far from what I wanted, I never even wanted to meet him. Now I'm glad I did, because I adore him and am finding more reasons every day that he's absolutely perfect for me.
Jina, Colorado,
Me! Ha!
Cheryl, surrey,
Cleverer than me but lets me think I am cleverer than him. Wears glasses, looks good in a suit, laughs at my lame jokes and eats meat.
W, London,
Kinda cute, Not obese, Open-minded listener not Wait-to-talker, Says what she means, Doesn't judge for judging sake or at least very aware/controls it, Confident enough to be goofy at times, Able to entertain herself (I'm not a court jester/date tour-guide), Enjoys "comfortable silences" together.
Michael, New Orleans, USA
Someone who exits apologetically and without fuss after the six months honeymoon phase is over but is available occasionally if needed for nostaliga sex for up to two years after that..
Or someone who changes into someone I like more not less after six months.
Mike, Oxford, UK
Married her 38 years ago.............still looks 20 years younger than me and I am 60.
albert, Sutton coldfield,
I found her in High School 57 years ago.. Great looking, blond, blue eyed , smart, same irrevent sense of humor. Chemistry is still there. Married her after undergrad work over 52 years ago. She's my soul mate, partner, love of my life, mother of our chlldren and a grandmother of the grand kids..
Jim, Roscoe, USA
Sweet natured girl-next-door, quiet, unaffected, healthy, good head of hair and likes me too. Never have found this, and now so old I never will.
Pete, London, UK
"My ideal woman is one that will help and produce a better "you", rather than belittle and criticise."
Howard, Manchester,
That would be your MOTHER. We are talking about romantic relationships here.
su, Los Angeles, USA
The best thing about being the ideal woman- which I am, by the way, hence why I felt duty-bound to chip in- is that one is only ever ideal to one man (fortunately in my case, the one to whom I am engaged). I would not like to be everyone's ideal; it is quite enough work being his thanks very much!
Lizzie, London,
There is no such thing as am ideal, however ther eis a compromise. On the matter of finding the ideal partner, it is all in the timing
marcus, horndon on the hill, uk
I have 2 ideal types: 1) swarthy gypsy: stubble, waistcoat and neckerchief (david essex in the 70s); and 2) fisherman: beard with very short/ no hair wearing an Aran jumper. Other fantasy qualities include a medium sized gut, clean smelling clothes and perfect teeth.
Beth Sharpe, Sidcup, Kent
To quote an old expression, "Lovin' don't last; cookin' do."
mario verna, Del Mar, CA, USA
To Lynne - I don't know you, or your talents or faults, but no one has the right to tell you that you are worthless. You should confront your husband about this, or if you can't / won't then find some support to help while you leave him!! Staying together if that is how he feels will benefit no one!
Gem, Burton-on-Trent,
My ideal boyfriend is Giles Coren.
Fairfax, Chiang Mai, Thailand
Can we have a similar article on the ideal man?
Alita, Manchester, England
Giles, it's all here buddy. On your doorstep in London. Drop me a line to dine...
Millie, London,
My ideal lady ... ideal in every way ... is Elina Reiljan.
My friend. My close friend ...
My girlfriend.
David Michael, Antalya, Turkey
Some combination of Zooey Deschanel and Honeysuckle Weeks. Charm, talent, humor, and just basic 'got it' attractive.
Brian Lehman, San Rafael, United States
The ideal women is the next one you fall in love with.
James Hamilton, Newcastle upon Tyne,
No Angelina, no glamorous Scarlett... Gwyneth Paltrow, feminine, beautiful, natural, as Grace Kelly
Luis Sancho, Madrid, Spain
Giles, marry ME! Forget all those random flopsies . I love eating - anything, everything . My stomach is made of iron and I don't know what indigestion feels like. My cholesterol and my blood pressure are perfect ; I'm fearless at the table. And I LOVE restaurant critics.
Miss Steak, Cadiz, Spain
Two words.... Kelly McDonald.
Alastair Johnson, Alicante, Spain
A little picky...a little choosey ...a little prince charming.....
We all have ideals...goodness knows where they come from ..
Saying that ...a husband for a lifetime ????? or a wife for that matter.
Thirty years for me .....looking on the packet for the use by date .
Jac, Balnarring, Australia
Frank, I agree that many women have unrealistic expectations but the same can be said for many men as well. I'm always amazed to hear average looking men complain that hot women are only interested in being with hot men. No wonder so many people are lonely and single. Life is too short!
Lara, London, UK
I definitely go for dependable, loyalty and sincerity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Most men lying is second nature whether it is done on purpose or not. Pretense is another attribute most men have. Marriage is the hardest thing and who says that you dont need brains to run a home?
virginia, Brisbane , Australia
My husband says I am worthless.
Lynne, melbourne , australia
Gywneth Paltrow
S K Lin, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Marries her 32 years ago. Way too young at 19 but I have been lucky in that we have got closer together. No secret to it, talk to each other. Tell each other your thoughts, dreams and even fears. Thank you Trish. xxx
Martin, Melbourne, Australia
Distance lots of distance.
Udo, Melbourne, Australia
I must disagree with Don Mac regarding Kate Winslet. When she became more successful, Ms Winslet dumped her cameraman husband for a film director. Every decent man's worst nightmare. Giles Coren should beware when he talks of humourless baldies, given that his dad went bald at a fairly young age.
David, London,
My ideal of a woman is the enchanting creature that chooses me for the right reasons and intentions. I have no choice in the matter because, as many may have discovered, it is the woman who chooses the man she intends to choose her.
The reality does not live up to this ideal - live with it. Most do.
Peter, Copenhagen, Denmark
Ideal woman for what: what's the brief? For marriage and babies: good genes and tolerability. For fun: well like food whims they vary as your body tells you what it needs. One minute ice cold hauteur the next the barest clothing and the broadest east end accent..And if a combination of both, well..
Septimus, Greater London, UK
Existential and entertaining essays in this article, the lot of them. Matt Rudd, you are hilarious. Thanks.
Joe, New York, US
G.C i laughed my socks off, (although i'm an adult so i don't wear them habitually!) i'd marry you today if you promised to litter our relationship with humour like this...my husband, a 5' nothing dutchman, "responsible for lowering the average national height" won my heart on our 1st date with this
pip, leicester, uk
It's a shame that modern women's high expectations of men don't also apply to women themselves. The tall, attractive, intelligent, monied comic genius is expected by even the most undesirable of womankind. Men, on the other hand are expected to compete with this idealised image of man. Not me.
Frank Hegarty, Farnborough, UK
Whenever I have met a man who has complained about his ex's whinging, "grumpiness", or criticism... give it three months and there, right before my eyes I see unravel the unpleasant, inconsiderate, mentally cruel and horrible man that causes the grumpiness and criticism in the first place.
Marina, London, UK
Gwyneth - to answer your question: for many reasons. If she has brains she will challenge me, I will not be bored, she will inspire our children to be intelligent and curious with me. I won't be explaining the news to her, she'll read good books, we'll share learning, brains are sexy, brains last.
Tom Franklin, London, UK
What I don't want in a woman: A golddigging high maintenance girly “pussycat” that due to her unrealistic expectations desires to be with a demigod to suit her ego as a "goddess", then spending her time plotting to turn her dream-man into a timid eunuch before divorcing him and repeating the cycle.
BL, London,
Giles - you simply haven't met her yet...
Fabia Sabella, George Town, Grand Cayman
She has to be comfortable in her own body, always make an effort to look her best, be sociable, smile a lot, love kids and love being with her family. She can have a career if she wants, equally, she can be content in just staying home.
Kevin, Wirral, UK
I'm with Tom. Slim, caring, brains and glasses.
James, London, UK
This article is entitled "What makes an ideal woman? yet some women have chosen to use it as a forum to discuss what they feel makes an ideal man. My ideal woman is one who does not have a list of must-have attributes for her ideal man.
Frank Hegarty, Farnborough, UK
Kate Winslet. Perfection in beauty, sensuality, intellect, artistry, wit, & all round personal attractiveness.
Don Mac, Singapore, Singapore
I have never understood why men want a woman with brains. If i was a guy I wouldn't care about brains as long as she could provide good genes and take care of the home. I am not anti-feminist however, as I am a very strongly opinionated woman myself but I just never understood why men would care
Gwyneth, London, UK
Thank you but I have my ideal woman. Francesca by name.
Warm, in the Iberian way, politically aware, sensual, socially caring but not a pushover, her smile makes everything right, rubbish with maps but makes wonderful paella and has produced two wonderful children.
Peter, Medina Sidonia, Spain
The perfect woman has good looks, takes care of her shape, is shaved in all the right areas, enjoys good sex, is loyal, and doesn't ever whinge.
The first five are quite easy to find if you're prepared to scour Europe, but getting all six is impossible surely ?
Jon Leigh, Southern, France
My ideal man:
brains, wit, humour, interesting, loyal friend, enjoys good food, independent house, but who wants to cook/sleep in my house sometimes and wants me to cook/sleep in his sometimes (well sleep eventually!), outings together whilst not abandoning friends.
Realistic or impossible?
Jo, Newton Abbot, England
I love Giles Coren too. I mean of course his writing. And his humour. Er. My ideal man? A dark, brown eyed (possibly olive/mahogany skinned) charismatic intelligent,slightly confused sporty gothic-demonic poetry lover who dreams about reptiles, has money and a house. And subtlety.
Ruth, London, London
Cute, smarter than me, independent, loyal, dignified, rational (the rarest trait, I'm sorry) and not politically charged in any way. Someone who isn't too self conscious that her self perception and appearance is a defining part of her personality. And not scared to be upfront about things.
Alasdair, Melbourne, Australia
Claire might have a fight on her hands for Giles!
Helen, cambridge,
What makes an ideal woman?
Brains, slender body, drive, individuality, cheekiness, tenderness, brains, varied interests, brains, character, flaws, fidelity, loves me, brains, and glasses.
Tom Franklin, London, UK
Howard, I had an ex that said "you make me a better man". But he didn't make me a better woman. He let me down again and again, and as this "better him" grew more confident, he treated me worse and worse. To stand up for myself, I had to protest, which he saw as "criticism". Maybe a better "us"?
Name withheld, London, UK
Love it!
Reckon Tom Stubbs and I ought to get together-but unfortunately am taken right now! His ideas on the ideal woman are ideal for me!
Rebecca, Denmark,
Without communication you have nothing.
Do not confuse fluency with communication.
Andrew Milner, Yokohama, Japan
I love Giles Coren, I think. I have been single by choice for three years, not by choice for another three. I am picky, yes. But what I want in a man is someone who will be nice to me, pay the mortgage and give me babies, and I will in turn love him and cook his dinner. I think that's fair.
Claire, London,
I married mine.
Bernard Lawson, London, England
I'm with Howard on this one!
John, London,
My ideal woman is one that will help and produce a better "you", rather than belittle and criticise.
Did I forget something? Oh yes: LOYALTY.
Howard, Manchester,