I thought Jim was a keeper. He had a job (tick box one), it didn't involve performance art (tick box two) and, when we met, still had all five digits on his left hand (add an addendum).

Three dates later, his “friends” cut off his index finger. It was a rowdy stag weekend, but even they rarely end in the loss of a digit.

I can't lie. The real reason we broke up wasn't because Jim had the kind of friends who stood by while he put his hand in a blender. Nor was it because he was the kind of man who got so drunk that putting it in there seemed a good idea. It was because it was his stag weekend.

Yet I'm sure his choice of mates would have been the eventual cause of our decline, because friends are an important benchmark by which we are measured.

Nadine Field, consultant psychologist and director of psychologyonline.co.uk, explains: “Most people have various sets of friends from different areas of their lives. In most cases our partners will get along with some and not with others and a balance will be struck.

“Problems arise when one partner has only one set of friends, with whom the other doesn't get along.

“If your dislike of all your partner's friends causes friction, rethink the relationship. These are the people he values and with whom he shares interests and a sense of humour- they aren't going to go away.”

So, if your man spends his time with people who offend you, it's likely that, in time, he'll do the same.

Likewise, if, like my friend Sarah's last boyfriend, he hasn't made a friend since school, it's probable that his real interests don't run beyond boobs and computer games, no matter how many times he says he's seen The Mikado.

Verdict If you can't find a single redeeming friend in his gang, it's a deal-breaker.

LAURA DEELEY

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