The youngest of the André clan, the ingeniously betitled and totally fancifully monikered Princess Tiaamii has, it transpires, a shoe wardrobe to match her name: more than 100 pairs for tiny trotters — and she has barely started walking. Yes, sweet Mama Jordan has already started turning her Princess (a frightening Peter André mini-me — but then she would be, wouldn’t she?) into a teeny-weeny Imelda Marcos, complete with four wardrobes of clobber that she’ll probably never wear. A quick flash into the future suggests that it won’t be long before she’s getting the hot-dog tint of fake tan to match the rest of her fam; in fact, we think she should celebrate her first steps with a quick spritz of St Tropez, no?

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