I could have written much of this article myself. For USA read UK, for UK read Australia, and for sisters read brothers - but otherwise the circumstances of my adoption, and recent reunion with my birth family, are creepily similar. And I too felt as though I had, at last, come home.

Eddi, UK,

It was a difficult to find my birth parents they were not intrested even though i have more in common with birth parents i only new for first few months of my life. my adopted father died when i was 9 his wife should never have been allowed to adopt i have many freinds also adopted system wrong.

Andrew Field, Marlborough, u k

ian,

How can you read this story and say what you said! Obviously for those in the story, it was very well "worth it"! Your ager is evident. Anger begins in hurt and what greater hurt than to feel abandoned or rejected by the mother who bore you. You can stay angry or find out the TRUTH.

Mirah Riben, NJ, USA

What a lovely article! I'm so glad it all worked out for you and both your families - adopted and natural.

JW, Spalding, England

I was amazed at the comment about finding contentment at the adoptive parent's misery? When my children married and loved their new inlaws, It made me happy and I knew that that love didn't affect our relationship at all. Just more people to love. The more love you use the more you have to use.

Sandra Young, El Paso Texas, United States

My adoptive parents died when I was in my early 20s and I left it until my early 40s before deciding, finally, to trace my natural parents. The journey since has not been all sweetness and light but it has been worthwhile and I have formed a close bond with one parent. Counselling is a good idea.

Robert, London, England

This is a very personal subject and every experience is different, however I myself have not found it to be 'settling' and if anything it has re-inforced the strength of feeling I have for my adoptive parents. I'm still in contact with my birth mother but have absolutely nothing in common with her.

Name withheld, London, UK

i was adopted too and found my mother, it was an illuminating eperience, i looked so much like her, but i'm so grateful to the woman who raised me, my mother was too young and would never have had patience to raise the very sickly child that i was with so much love. eliza jacques

eliza jacques, london,

I just wish more people who were having babies they can't take care of properly for whatever reason (e.g., too young, too poor, too addicted to an 'it's all about me' lifestyle, too unable to give the child a decent life, etc., would do what 'Ben's' biological parents did: find a family that can do.

Rayne, cambridge, uk

These are complicated matters; the reasons someone might put a child up for adoption are many and varied, as are the experiences with the susequent adoptive family and any reunions that might happen. There seems to be a lot of unwarranted negativity in these comments...

Richard, Marlow, UK

For those whose reunion experiences weren't so fulfilling, I say be pleased for the writer's good fortune, as you know how hard it can be. For those who haven't yet taken this route or don't feel the need to, it might not be for everyone.

This article is just a bright spot in a cynical world...

Richard, Marlow, UK

I traced my birth mother nearly 7 years ago through NORCAP and wish I'd done it sooner as she is now 86. Adoptees suffer rejection and lack of self-commitment. My reunion has been successful and important to find one's roots in order to feel whole. Have also 2 half-siblings and a new step father.

Rina Maiden, London, UK

I fail to understand why adoption (and re-unions) are so readily assumed to be right. Do no one else's alarm bells ring at the amount of times Ben was expelled from School? Interruptions of primary care givers can lead to severe attachment disorders, which is a potentially life ruining condition.

Isabel, London,

Shall i tell my adoptive parents i have found my Birth Mother ? What do others think ?

Paul, Brentwood, UK

I am thrilled for Ben and his family and I wish them all well.
<br/>
<br/>I too traced my birth parents but it hasn't been a happy union and I would definitely recommend counselling before the event.
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Janice Bailey, Dartford,

Brought up by real mother and stepfather but found out was adopted by accident at 16.
Met my 'bio dad' (Austrian) 13 yrs later. He had married and had a daughter. Unfortunately I had no idea about the inheritance laws in his country (didn't even think about it!) but he used this to cut contact.

Christian, Warwickshire, England

I support adoption because it provides a couple with the means to provide, love and rear a child. It is always a good idea to give a child up for adoption if you know you unable provide for the child. It was hard but his biological mother did the right thing. I hope the parents can co-exist

Naleen Lal, Northern California,

I agree, Ian. I would never have realised I was adopted because I look so much like my Mum. She told me when I was 13. I asked her who my real mother was, and saw that soft look, and knew who my real mother was. She is no longer with us, but she was the best, and we loved her, just loved her.

Helen, Canada,

Having met my birth mother at the age of 45 some years ago, she was courteous and had my wife and I round for a day. After that, she faded from view again. She never would talk about my father though I do know I have a half-brother in the Far East. I'm glad I found her, but it was hardly settling.

PM, Puerto del Rosario, Spain

Two years ago I traced my birth mother and had a similar meeting. After my adoption she continued the relationship with my father and had another son whom she kept. He doesn't know about me and my birth mother won't tell him. I know his address but can't decide whether to contact him.

John, Prestatyn,

My son spent almost 5 years searching (wasn't expensive for him) for me but I found him in 2004 through Genes Reunited. It is happy ending for us and he has lived with me and my husband since Dec 2006.

Philippa Hornsey, Whitstable,

Ben Aldo seems to have obtained contentment at the price of his adoptive parents' misery. I too was adopted, and my natural parents then had two more children, whom they kept. Although i have known about this from a very early age, I have always felt excluded from both families.....

Howard Jones

Howard Jones, St Saturnin, France

How wonderful - what a wonderful ending! I too was adopted at the end of WW2. I have known for the past five years that I had a half brother who would now be about 66, but have been unable to find him. I will now try again.

Suzi, Norwich,

What a wonderful story...I read more slowly as I neared the end of the article, nervous that it would turn sour...it didn't and such blissful contentment.
Too many influential people persuaded this young couple to give their child up during the era when this was acceptable, different now thankfully.

Barbara Steward, Northumberland, UK

What a fantastic article! As an adoptee who has also rediscovered his 'blood' family, I can identify with it on many levels and I'm proud to say that I now have two families, each very different from the other, but both equally important...

I wish you and all your relations the very best.

Richard, Marlow, UK

It's incredible how close one feels to natural parents, even growing up without them. My boyfriend found his natural parents at 34. All his life he'd always tried to feel close to his adopted family but when he met his natural parents he realized there was comparison, they were the real McCoy !!

Sarah Howard, London, UK

I am amazed you went through lawyers and spent so much money, Ben. In the UK, the contact system is well established through NORCAP. Find them at www.norcap.org.uk

You were lucky that your situation ended up so well. Many contacts do not and the support of NORCAP is invaluable.

Andi, Rutland, England

I, too, have been happily reunited for the past 7 years. I can relate quite a bit to the feelings expressed by the adopted citizen in the article.

Laurie, Sacramento, USA

I keep puttng off the search, then kicking myself for putting it off, one day it will be too late.

Congratulations on finding yours and that it turned out so well, brought a tear to my eye.

Sarah, Nottingham, Albion

What we give to our children or to other people's children can never be lost. As a father I used to leave home at 7am and often returned at 11 pm. No time to be a good father! Now I look after my wife's grandchildren. They may not remember me, but I will always be there.

Brian Lewis, Manila, Philippines

As an adopted child I have never wanted to - where does all the work and pain get the person looking ? More pain 9 times out of 10 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parents are the ones who have spent time and patience bringing the child up - being a birth mother or father has no relevance on anything !!!!!

ian payne, walsall,