There are two reasons why men won't come to parties. One: he has already landed you, so why take you fishing? And two: he's embarrassed to be seen out with you.

It was the latter that undid my “relationship” with a man my friends call Voldemort. We barely left the house because he didn't want to be seen with me if I wore a skirt. I have a large scar on my shin and his friends and the public couldn't be expected not to judge him based on my physical shortcomings.

I'd like to say that I pulled the plug on him immediately, but I stuck at it like a first-class masochist until I was worn out with self- loathing and didn't have the energy to catch the Tube to his house any more.

So what about Mr Party-Pooper? When my friend Frankie actually makes it to a party, you'll find her knocking back drinks and holding 12 conversations at the same time while the left side of her body frantically body-pops to I Believe I Can Fly as she tries to fit in as much party as possible before 11.30pm. That's when her boyfriend, who has been reciting the train timetable at the other end of the room for most of the evening, will detach himself from the wall and drag her back home.

According to Richard Heath, a couples therapist, it's hard to spot Mr Party-Pooper in the heady early days of a relationship: “In the beginning we show our interest in somebody by attending events with them. However, beneath this is the real driver: the wish to obtain that partner and mate with them. For some, once they have achieved this, the impetus to impress disappears, and they then show their true colours.”

And for Frankie, her boyfriend's true colours means that they rarely leave the house any more and her Facebook updates read along the lines of: “Frankie can't decide between a sock and a slipper.”

Verdict It's a deal-breaker. Heath says that you can resolve the problem by allowing your partner to pursue separate interests. But if his pastimes extend only to making a sandwich between episodes of Heroes, it's time you went it alone.

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