Suzi Godson
What is it about falling in love that encourages otherwise sensible people to
take up smoking? It's the nerves, isn't it? You don't know what to do with
your hands and a fag gives you something to fiddle with. And sharing
cigarettes seems romantic. It's all so sexy and sultry and Parisian. So
Robert Doisneau. So café culture. So addictive.
There comes a point, usually when the fairy dust has worn off the newness of
your relationship, that you wake up with the taste of stale tobacco in your
mouth and realise that you are desperate to wash your teeth . . . and have
another fag. Dependency is never sexy. It is expensive and injurious to your
health and, without wishing to sound like your mother, if you and your
fiancée want to live happily ever after, you need to quit, pronto.
The good news is that unless you have developed a 60-a-day habit over the
course of the longest engagement in history, I doubt that smoking has had
the time to ruin your marriage prospects. Because this is a recent problem,
and your ejaculation is also weak, you should put your mind at ease and get
checked out by a urologist. But I suspect that you are confusing premature
ejaculation (coming too quickly) with research that connects smoking and
erectile dysfunction (not getting an erection).
The British Medical Association estimates that smoking increases the risk of
erectile dysfunction by about 50 per cent for men in their thirties and
forties, and they suggest that there are 120,000 men in this age group in
the UK who are impotent purely because they smoke. Premature ejaculation,
however, is usually caused by anxiety, and since getting married is sixth on
the list of the top ten most stressful life events, this problem is bound to
improve once you both stop worrying about seating arrangements and
vegetarian options.
The Stop-Start technique
Premature ejaculation is a common problem - 30 per cent to 40 per cent of
British men suffer from it - and although doctors sometimes prescribe
antidepressants to delay ejaculation, there are a number of self-help
techniques. If you follow this link http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/ht/controlprematur.htm
you will find instructions on the Stop-Start technique, which helps men to
recognise and extend the build up to ejaculation.
The most important thing you can do to help yourself is to give up smoking so
that you break the psychological link you have created between cigarettes
and coming too quickly. If you and your fiancée don't feel you can quit
before the wedding, don't even try. Set a date when your life will be more
settled and then give up together. Use props if you need them -
hypnotherapy, acupuncture, nicotine patches. Save the money you would have
wasted on fags, and when the fairy dust has worn off the newness of your
marriage, take a second honeymoon.
Suzi Godson is the author of The Sex Book (Cassell, £16.99) and The Body Bible
Penguin, £16.99)
Dr Thomas Stuttaford
How old are you? How long have you known your fiancée? Both factors are highly
significant. Quite rightly, people search for physical reasons to account
for erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation but possible psychological
reasons shouldn't be neglected.
In an established relationship, there is usually more sexual intercourse in
the initial stages, and the foreplay is more detailed, attentive and also
more prolonged.
If the man is more mature and can control his orgasm he may at the start of
the affair be careful not to come too quickly. Once the mutually lustful
stage of love wears thin, sex may become less important and companionship
more so. The next stage of love is associated with acceptance and
understanding.
You have raised an important question about the effect of smoking on sexual
prowess and reproductive ability. I have no moral opinions on smoking, but I
am amazed that the anti-smoking campaigners don't make greater capital out
of the disadvantages of smoking for those who want to pursue a potential
partner and eventually to have healthy children.
Impotence and decline
Smoking, in the short and long term, increases impotence and reduces penile
rigidity. In men whose erections are already beginning to falter, smoking
may complete their decline. In the long term it can cause atherosclerosis of
the arteries leading to the penis. As they become furred up, the blocking of
the blood supply to the penis may cause an inadequate erection or impotence.
In the short term, smoking may cause temporary constriction of the penile
arteries so rapidly that the effect of the last cigarette smoked by a randy
lover becomes obvious within moments.
Smokers are also more likely to suffer premature ejaculation and a reduction
in the amount of semen produced. An average non-smoker in the 30 to 50 age
group produces around 3.5ml of semen, about three-fifths of a large
teaspoonful.
Smokers of the same age group produce on average only 1.9ml of semen, well
under half a large teaspoonful. This is the amount of semen produced by an
average 60 to 70-year old man, and the fertility may be reduced accordingly.
It is not only the quantity of the semen that suffers but also the number,
activity, vitality and sense of direction of the swimming sperm. The number
of obviously deformed sperm is also increased, as is the number of sperm in
which molecular examination will show excessive DNA fragmentation, even if
the sperm is otherwise normal.
If 15 per cent of sperm in a specimen have evidence of DNA fragmentation it is
described as an excellent specimen; 15 to 30 per cent fragmentation and the
specimen is known as good.
A score of more than 30 per cent of sperm with DNA fragmentation is often
found in smokers and the semen and sperm, even if otherwise normal, is then
described as being of poor quality.
Dr Thomas Stuttaford, the Times doctor, spent many years working in a
genitourinary clinic
