Tall is beautiful, right? All sorts of good things are tall. The Eiffel Tower,
for instance, and sunflowers and giraffes. The ideal man is tall and of
course, the world's most desirable women are endless of limb and willowy of
mien. Carla Bruni is tall, and not just taller than Nicolas Sarkozy, which
most people are, but tall in her own right. Supermodels are mandatorily tall
- Lily Cole and Gisele Bündchen are both 5ft 10in.
But there is a point when tallness tips from signifying glamour to looking
freaky, and for millions of women, every inch that takes them over six foot
is a burden. Because, despite years of feminism, despite endless
exhortations to be happy in our skins, the singer Kimya Dawson had it right
when she sang that “all girls feel too big sometimes, regardless of their
size”. And if every average-sized woman yearns sometimes to be dainty, how
does it feel always to be the tallest in the room, to know that a man would
need a periscope to look down your top and a stepladder to stroke your hair?
The tallest woman in the world, Sandy Allen (7ft 7in), died earlier this
month, and her tributes showed that although tall may be beautiful, very
tall is emphatically not very beautiful. People are hard-wired to be
surprised at great height, so that, one friend said, they would scream when
they saw her, with “that kind of shock where they can't even stop their
mouth to think that a human being is going to be the recipient of their
reaction.” When Allen contacted The Guinness Book of Records in 1974, she
wrote: “It is needless to say my social life is practically nil”.
Allen was an extreme case, but she is far from the only tall woman to find
herself defined by her height. It is such a compliment for a woman to be
called petite, but if you're over 6ft, just as if you're overweight, it
ain't gonna happen.
So they were saying in Chester last weekend, anyway. At the annual Tall
Persons Club weekend away, 100 or so people of height gathered in
Cheshire for go-karting, city tours and the opportunity to converse without
peering down. The women also commiserated with one another.
Over lunch, I ask them what bothers them about being tall. Their grievances
tumble forth over mushroom quiche. Dawn, an interior designer, is 6ft 5in
and gets in first. “Finding a partner,” she says quietly. Others, not quite
hearing her, chip in: “I hate getting on a bus,” says Diane, 6ft 3in,
“because there is always one seat left, right at the back, and as you are
walking down everyone stares. I feel very self-conscious. And then you have
to get into your seat with your knees wrapped around your neck.”
“I've had to buy a Zafira,” says Diane, a gentle Liverpudlian note of
indignation creeping in, “for the legroom. It's not my fault that I had to
buy it, but I am getting taxed extra on it.” Others pile in: they can't buy
cheap clothes in Asda as their friends do (one goes to the Netherlands to
get clothes with extra inches), they can't buy women's bikes - very tall men
can't get bikes at all - but beyond any practical issue is the social
awkwardness of being a tall woman.
“Most of my problems were at school,” Dawn says. “Because you do get picked
on, it's just a fact.” And now, she says, at 35: “People make comments when
they are standing right next to you - as well as staring. You think, ‘I'm
tall, but I'm not deaf'.”
“I still get nasty comments,” Diane says. “Not from children, from adults.”
The ultimate social meanness arises when a woman dates a man who is shorter
than she is. It is considered demeaning for both parties: the tall woman
looks unsexily oversized in comparison with the short man, who is
emasculated because he doesn't look like he could club his girlfriend over
the head and drag her off to his cave. Celebrities are not immune to the
nastiness. Katie Holmes, 5ft 9in, is married to Tom Cruise, at least two
inches shorter, and is subjected to much scrutiny, particularly about why
she would continue to wear high heels when they emphasise a height
difference assumed to be terribly shameful. Sophie Dahl, 5ft 11in, says she
is very happy with Jamie Cullum, 5ft 4in, but that didn't stop one wit
coining them “James and his Giant Peach”.
Several women at the Tall Club have had boyfriends who are much shorter than
they are. Indeed, they say that short men often like very tall women - but
the public reaction can be horrible. Although, as Lorna says: “When it comes
down to it, it's personalities that matter,” Dawn confesses that when she
dated a man nearly a foot shorter than her: “We would hold hands in public,
and you feel silly. You shouldn't, but you do.” And Lorna recounts a story
of a 5ft 7in boyfriend who would walk behind her, or in front of her, but
never alongside.
Lorna eventually married another club member who is nearly 7ft: “I do like
being able to look up to him,” she says. Diane says that she met her
husband, who is tall, when she was 18. “Don't get me wrong,” she says, “I do
love him.” But there is, she says: “a part of me that married him because I
didn't think I would find another tall man... so it was a good thing that I
did love him”.
“I do think that it's harder to be a tall woman than to be a tall man,” Dawn
says, “because for a man it's easier to find a partner.” I speak to
Professor Robin Dunbar, a specialist in cognitive and evolutionary
anthropology, who confirms that life can be tough for tall women.
“Tall men,” he says, “are generally more successful in life, in areas
including salary and winning presidential elections. But this doesn't happen
for women. The chances of marriage and children are higher for taller men,
but the reverse is true for women.”
The difference, Professor Dunbar supposes, lies in the different social
strategies of the sexes. “In the playground of life, tall men get used to
being deferred to because they can thump hardest. Whereas the women's world
is much more collaborative and network-y and physical strength is much less
of an advantage.” Indeed, as “fitting in” is so important among girls and
women, standing out because of tallness could be a distinct disadvantage.
Plus, he says, tall women are more likely to have uneven features: “Tall men
tend to be more symmetrical and have better chances of reproductive success,
whereas it is short women who tend to be more symmetrical, to get married
and to have children.”
A brisk voice for the positives of tallness is Arianne Cohen, a 6ft 3in New
Yorker, who is writing The Tall Book, a hymn to height to be published next
year. Cohen stresses the bright sides - it's quite hard to get fat, she
says, there is lots of room when you're pregnant and you have a “romantic
fanbase” of men who like tall women.
“Tall is gorgeous,” Cohen insists on the phone, “and the moment you perceive
yourself that way, other people perceive it too.” She adds that: “I also
also think that women blame a lot of their issues on being tall, when that
two or three or six inches are not that important. If you were 5ft 8in, you
would have all the same problems. It is an easy hole to fall into.”
This seems a hard lesson for the ladies lunching in Chester, lots of whom
would probably quite like to have a hole to stand in. Life can be difficult
for the tall woman not blessed with confidence and an understanding that
unwanted comments are, according to Cohen, “everything to do with people's
perceptions of what femininity is”.
That's not to say that the women of the Tall Club don't have a laugh. They
submit with the utmost jollity to being photographed getting in and out of
phone boxes in the town centre on a busy Saturday. But they certainly get
some funny looks, and no one stops to suggest that they become supermodels.
So next time you meet a lady over 6ft, stop to think that whatever humorous
remark you make, she'll have heard before. Do not inquire whether she sleeps
in a grow-bag, or ask what the air is like up there. In Africa, it's the
highest compliment to be called as beautiful as a giraffe. Lots of good
things are tall.
Tall Tales - statuesque celebrities
Jerry Hall, the 6ft model and ex-wife of Mick Jagger once said: “Aged
12, I was the tallest in the school, which I didn't like, but I soon learnt
that tall is, in fact, an asset: no matter what I put on, it looked good.”
As a young girl, Saffron Burrows was rejected from Grange Hill for
being tall. The 6ft actress went on to star in films such as In The Name of
The Father. The American tennis star Lindsay Davenport, 6ft 2in, has
complained, “It's not easy being my height”. At 6ft 1in, the former US
Attorney General Janet Reno once had to take her shoes off at a
speech in Florida so that the microphone would pick up her voice.
When the 6ft actress Brigitte Nielsen met Sylvester Stallone, she got a
friend to answer the door in case her height scared him off when she got up.
She once said: “Men ask me to dance, but when I stand up they start to back
off, saying: 'Maybe some other time'. That's when I grab 'em and say:
‘There's no time like here and now, fella'.” At 5ft 10in, Diana,
Princess of Wales wore flats to her wedding. The Prince of Wales posed
on a box for their official portrait and one step above her at Buckingham
Palace in their engagement pictures.
At 6'7" and a male my younger life was ruined by boys / men with short man syndrome, teachers who seemed to think I was in danger of becoming a bully if they didnt punish me for fighting back. If you try and laugh with some they think you are weak - a gentle giant, so now I just tell em where 2 go!
Dave, Stafford, UK
I'm 22 years old and am 6'3". I have always been tall for my age, and was a big tomboy when I was younger. I got away for awhile bc I played bball, so no 1 cared. My bf is 6'7" and loves my height, but I feel weird, being this tall, and knowing that I'm a size 12/13 in shoes :( I hate it!!
Whitney, New York,
I'm 5'11 and age 16. Only this year have boys my age began to grow and so the past few years have been pretty awkward. My legs are a 34" - that's the same as my dad for crying out loud. But I guess I'll live with it. As far all the people and their sarcy comments: I'll just stand on them :D
Gemma, Glasgow,
There's nothing more beautiful in life than tall women. I'm 6'3 and have not met many tall ladies in London over the last 10 years.. this is the real problem.
John Doe, London,
I'm a 6 ft. tall woman and I think Jamie Cullum is HOT! He's talented, funny, charming, and...now that he's taken up with a much taller woman...it shows he's confident and doesn't let other people's opinions stand in the way of his happiness. That's sexy!
Donna, New York, USA
I found this interesting. Maybe it's a tad different in the states. I am 6-2 in heels. Was married to a man who was 6-7, perhaps entranced by his height. Thought I NEEDED a tall guy. Needless to say we divorced. Now with a guy 2 inches shorter than me (in flats) and couldn't be happier.
Gina, Dallas, USA
I was 5ft 11 when i left school and i hated it, but now at 31 years old i am 6ft 1 and i LOVE IT!!!! As i have got older i have become more comfortable with my body. My boyfriend is 6ft 3 and loves being with someone nearly as tall as him (even in my heels!!!!) I wouldnt want to be any different.x.
Leanne, Manchester, United Kingdom
What a ridiculous article. I am 6ft 2 and like to think that I am not defined by my height but who I am and what I do. I am a young and successful 21 year old who has just graduated with a 2:1BAHons degree. Tall women should be proud to be different if we were all the same life would be very dull!!
Abigail Bishop, Reading,
I'm tall and i love it! Better to be noticed when walking in the room than to be overlooked! I look great in long dresses and it's harder to put on weight.
Sarah, Northants, UK
I am 6'2" and have been since 14., I wouldn't change a thing now at 37, with lovely marriage, career and twins. My hope is that my children are tall and they learn that standing out head and shoulders above the herd is an advantage. Catrina, Cheshire.
Catrina , Sale, UK
I must say, I don't think I have a 'romantic fanbase of men who like tall women'
Sophie Gossage, Torquay, Devon
Yet another article defining women by their ability to attract a man. And if this had been about overweight women, it would never have made it into print!
Sam, St Albans,
Thats what I call a slow news day!
Tikhon Savrasov, l,
Tall, short, curvy, slim, redhead, blond, brunette, it doesn't matter, all women are beautiful and I did not need to find that out by reading Vogue!
A thorn, London,
Tall is beautiful...........................
winslow, toronto, canada
I'm a 6'3" guy who worked in the Netherlands for 7 years. To my surprise it was the first place where I would often see girls the same height as me - NEVER happened in the UK. They were not awkward, gangly or out of proportion, just bigger. The Dutch are officially the tallest race on earth.
Philip, Ontario, Canada
As life is tough for tall woman it is even tougher for short man.
S.F.A.J, Turra,
I ENVY tall people of any gender...it's always gratifying when people can literally as well as figuratively look up to them. I'm about 5'7"-5'8" and male, and although I'm not exactly below average height I have a huge inferiority complex particularly considering a lot of my friends are much taller.
Mani Thangadurai, Chennai, India
I am only 4 ft 11 (i'm Bengali so its the norm for us) and I find it soooo strange that there are so many articles relating to tall people ALL THE TIME. Us shorties suffer too you know! Ive been bullied at skool by tall nd ugly ppl (both sex) and i know i have a life to look 4wd 2 with no respect!
Bunny, Herts, UK
Tall = Beautiful, at 5ft 11 i am tall and proud, being called "lanky and gangling limbs" has made me proud of the fact and gave me confidence. i love being tall. why do we need to look the same? being fabulous, elegant, tall and confident is just part of who i am.
Emma, Lancashire, UK
My husband is 3 inches or so shorter than me - he says it's 4 inches difference! When we started dating I had already decided that it was stupid to discount men who were shorter than me. Happy at 5'10", I wear high heels for work - low heels with hubby, more for his 'comfort' than mine.
stevieB, Washington, DC, USA
At 14 and 5'10" in 1986 (when there were less tall women about) I jumped at the chance to take hormones to stop me growing so that I ended up at 6' instead of 6'3". Should you also be the cleverest in class at school, your life isn't worth living. Difficult to be confident when constantly abused.
Myrtle, Leeds,
I'm 5ft 10 and love my height, even if other people do have issues with me wearing 5inch heels. My partner is 6ft so ocasionally I'm taller than he is but it's the equality in our relationship that's important, not our relative heights!
AnnieG, Cheltenham,
Being tall myself, i feel conscious and feel as if i stick out like a saw thumb, however i have now come to the conclusion that firstly you don't need to worry about putting on the pounds as much as it evens out when u r tall, and models are tall so clothes hang better, so us tall girls are set!
Nicole, Ruislip Manor, Middlesex
I see the writer in her pleas for understanding for those on the borders of society's norms still couldn't resist the traditional cheap shot at short men. Plus ça change, eh?
Richard, London,
I am 3in taller than my husband. We have, on occasion, been subject to rude remarks on the street. I ignore them and focus on our wonderful, joy-filled life - why be influenced by someone so uncouth and poisoned with anger that they chose to be cruel to a complete stranger?
Clare, New York, NY
I'm 5'10 - not greatly tall by some standards but above average. I ended up meeting a man who was 5'7 (no, not Tom Cruise) who liked me just as I was. I soon discovered that no-one else gave a damn about our height difference either. The vast majority of the flak I ever had was at school.
MG, London, UK
As a 6'2 21-year-old female I couldn't help but click when I saw this article. It does make you a bit self conscious to be this size, but since I've been tall all my life I know no other way. It's the extremely long inseams and size 13 shoes that really make it akward in daily life, not the stares.
Nicole, NE, United States
So why can't I pick up a tall woman?
Tom, Perth, Oz
Lin of Bracknell - Long Tall Sally have always offered almost all their trousers in a 36" inside leg. They also offer an alteration service : )
AnnieG, Cheltenham,
One of the problems is that Showbiz Tall and ordinary tall are not the same thing. Tom Cruise is much nearer 4'9" than 5'9".Jerry Hall is at least 6" short of 6'.Hollywood 6'4" usually means about 5'9". (Arnie and Clint for instance.
andy wilson, antrim,
I'm a 6ft5 guy, and find tall women are more attractive to me. I wouldn't want to end up with a partner much shorter than I am. The main difficulty is that there don't seem to be many tall women around!
Ben Garside, Loughborough, UK
It is a mystery to me how some people feel that it is okay to comment publicly upon other peoples' looks. You might ask the question what failed when good manners were handed out. When the next comment about your height comes, reply: "I might be tall, but at least I have manners".
Tall = beautiful.
Siri, Bergen, Norway
I've a female friend of 4 '10 " who says that, too, is very hard to live with. Attracted to a man who had all the attributes she wanted except that he was 5 feet 2 she didn't bother to get to know him as she didn't want to have a very short child who would experience the same difficulties as she.
thalassa, quimper, france
You mean tough as in having to walk miles under a burning sun to get fresh water for your starving children? Or tough as in being beaten and raped and burned to death because you belong to the wrong tribe? Or tough as in sinking into despair over your mushroom quiche in Chester?
Kevin Straw, Leicester,
My profession is - personal management of female basketball players. Please, all you tall ladies. If you are athletic, contact us. We love you all! A whole new future may await you. Website - www.scottsport.com :))))
Peter, Budapest, Hungary
who wants to be average?
Barbara, London,
It really depends where you live. In Northern Europe it is not much of a problem being over 6ft for a woman, as the majority of men are taller than 6 ft..of course if you live in Southern Europe that is a real issue... and that's why I am heading North!
Btw, we look gorgeous with long dresses!! ;)
Francesca, Richmond Upon Thames,
And another thing!! (on soap box now but don't actually need one) My inside leg is 36" Why is it that only US and Scandinavian clothes shops cater for any leg length past 31"? Are we not all growing taller? Do catalogue companies/asda/tesco not understand their target customer sizing?
lin, bracknell, UK
My wife is over 6 foot, has a perfectly symmetrical face and she had a barbie doll figure when we first met, and its still pretty good 22 years later. I once worked with a woman of 6 foot 3 inches who was gorgeous and exuded confidence. And, that is what its all about - personal confidence.
Steve B, Cardiff, Wales
and lastly, if a woman is size 10, and she's 5'5" that's nice and slim but not overly so. Ever seen someone over 6' who is a size 10? grossly underweight. I wish someone would size clothes which took some notice of your height. I'm slim but describing my size at 16/18 makes me appear overweight!!
lin, bracknell, UK
Tall women should listen to Jerry Hall - if they are tall and slim they can virtually wear anything; they look fantastic in long dresses.
Ian, Bristol,
i dont mind tall women. One of the sexiest women i met was a 6ft 1 norwegian girl. She also had curves. If a woman can be friendly and fun it doesnt mattter if she is short or tall, although i draw the line at Wee Jimmie Krankie and at the other end of the spectrum anyone over 6ft 5. We'd look daft
patrick, hague, netherlands
My dear friend, Mitchelle Carvalho, stands tall at 5 ft 9 inches. In India, a woman of such a height is the subject of much scorn and unwanted pity. People bother about how will 'she ever get married', as average Indian men are not as tall.
Tall women are fabulous and majestic. Everyone of them.
Anita Rane, Mumbai, India
Confident men tend to be attracted by tall women; who tend to be mature and serious. Picked as class leader and it progressed from there. These days, tall women are not so difficult to find here in Japan. And consider supply and demand. I like um tall, so they tend to be young.
Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan
At 6'2", I am 3 inches taller than my husband and he loves it! I feel very self-conscious but am starting to realise that people will make comments about you no matter what you look like - we're all 'too...something', aren't we?
victoria, sydney,