Far be it from me to encourage the transfer of honest British cash into French pockets, but with the festive booze-cruise season upon us, it’s going to happen anyway. So let us at least ensure that it’s done well.

Buying cheap drink in the Channel ports can be a hellish slog round the rawest end of retail. Planned properly, however, it can be not only financially rewarding (praise the French excise rates), but also rather jolly. Last time I was through, I saved about 35% on British prices, then ate so many scallops that world reserves might never recover, and had a lovely time playing on the coast. It’s a question of approach.

The three booze-cruise ruses are, first, shop in the right places. No need to trek round ill-lit warehouses overseen by dodgy blokes with cash habits. Calais, especially, has lots of them — but they are wretched places, choice is laughable and savings are little better than in the proper stores.

Second, know roughly what you want. Otherwise you’ll be walking miles of aisles of wines and spirits in a trance. Most places mentioned have websites, where you can check stock and compare prices prior to departure. On some, you may pre-order, so that the hooch is boxed up and waiting for you when you arrive.

Third, take your time. You’ve taken the trouble to cross the Channel, so kick back and enjoy it.

A good lunch is a minimum. Better still is an overnight stay. Look at it this way: you’ve made all these economies on booze — if you don’t spend the money on yourself right now, you’ll only have to spend it on someone else back home, this being the season of goodwill.

We’re covering Calais and Boulogne. Overall, Calais has a far greater number of drink outlets and Channel crossings; Boulogne is prettier, at least up in the old town, and has a better range of hotels and restaurants. But they’re only 30 motorway minutes apart, so you could do both.

Continued on page 2: Where to stay

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Where to stay

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