There are many ways I annoy my wife, but booking a luxury family safari a few
hours north of Johannesburg has so far been the most extravagant. “It’ll be
great,” I say, pointing to a pair of tots beaming from a safari vehicle in
the brochure.
“It’ll be horrendous,” she sighs. “Those children are at
least seven. Ours are five, three – and hello, what about the baby?”
The good news is the woman from Original Travel, the company arranging our
trip, has no truck with words such as “horrendous”. “It’ll be
fabulous,” she promises. “The kids can go horse-riding, the baby will have
his own nanny. There are heated pools at both lodges. It’s nonmalarial. You
won’t want to come back.”
The bad news is Original Travel is launching an Original Kids arm to its
holiday empire: maybe it’s just desperate for publicity. I ring around.
“Mmm,” ponders the man from Aardvark Safaris, for whom the family safari
makes up about 50% of business.
“We usually say six is when they really start to enjoy it.” The man from
Audley Travel, another of a growing army of operators targeting families,
doesn’t much like the sound of our baby, either. And he’s never even spent a
night feeding it Calpol and changing its sheets. What have I done?
“What have you done?” asks my wife on the plane. Our three-year-old has just
discovered there is no extra seat for his toasted sandwich, and is wailing
like a trapped rabbit. The baby has leaked through his nappy, and is
actually dripping onto my wife. I’ve got a horrible feeling it might not be
wee. Only the five-year-old is happy, merrily kicking away at the seat-back
in front of him, off his head with excitement because the in-flight
entertainment carries the promise of two Cartoon Network channels. We have
still to take off.
There are three things I learn in the next 11 hours. One: teething babies
really produce a lot of diarrhoea. Two: there’s only so long a
three-year-old can sleep on your lap before the blood starts congealing in
your calves. Three: Africa is really, really big. Hours, days, weeks into
our flight to Johannesburg, the steward wakes me to say the five-year-old
cannot lie on the floor. For his own safety.
“Never mind, Ruben,” I tell him, “we must be nearly there.” We call up the
moving map and watch in silent horror as the little plane jiggles backwards
and forwards somewhere above Khartoum. Time to destination: six hours 13
minutes. “Get back on the floor,” I tell him.
At Johannesburg, my sister picks us up from the airport.
“Bloody hell,” she says. “What happened?” We look awful, like survivors of
slaughter. But we feel great. The worst part is over. At her house, a
go-away bird yowls “Go-away” from the tree by the pool. The boys have
water-balloon fights with their cousin, while my wife and I laze around on
the grass and wonder at the simple pleasure of being able to unfurl our
limbs. “Africa is really happy,” says the three-year-old.
It is a golden two days. All too soon, though, the real test arrives. Safari.
A minibus drives us the three hours north to the Waterberg plateau.
Promisingly, the kids take the drive in their stride. Top Trumps are played.
I-spy is enjoyed. The driver even spots a giraffe. “Look, giraffe!” he
shouts. Ruben looks up from his Star Wars Top Trumps, clocks the giraffe,
looks back down at his cards and calls: “Jedi Powers, 99.” “Jedi Powers,
37,” says his brother. We drive on.
Our first lodge is called Ant’s Nest. It is magnificent: just three thatched
cottages around a shady lawn and pool, with the look and feel of a
governor-general’s house circa 1910. If colonial chic existed, Ant’s Nest
would be its showroom. It’s so good, even the wife is struggling to stay
cross at me now. “Oh my God,” she says. “You’re a genius.”
It is the start of something unexpectedly magical. Where I have pictured a
slow-drip Chinese water torture of parental shame – food spat, tantrums
tossed, guests affronted – instead, the children are a disconcerting
delight. It’s ironic, because 90% of guests at Ant’s Nest have kids, and the
mood here is one of chin-chucking indulgence.
What you can’t help falling for at Ant’s Nest are the owners, the eponymous
Ant and wife Tessa. Burly (him), beautiful (her), with slow, burnished
smiles that warm like an African sun (both), they look and sound like what
the wife and I might have been without kids. “Coming for a ride?” Ant says
to the boys, and before I can explain that they’ve never ridden before,
there they are, up and in the saddle and trotting off towards a herd of
giraffe with big cowboy grins stretching beneath their helmets.
Oh God, it’s so banal, I know, out here under an African sky, to gush about
the kids’ stuff – favourite meals arriving straight after game drives, Jeeps
pitching up to whisk weary riders back to the lodge, inflatable toys
scattered about the pool in case the slow-sloping “beach” isn’t kiddy-thrill
enough – but it doesn’t half help you find your family-holiday mojo.
In fact, the real trick at Ant’s Nest is that “family holiday” isn’t just a
euphemism for “mum-and-dad holiday”. Sure, you can pack your kids off on bug
walks and horse rides if you’re Kids’ Club kind of people, but here you can
do everything alongside your kids, rather than away from them.
I won’t pretend it makes for the most relaxing of game drives – try soaking up
the wonder of an eland herd while your three-year-old roots around in your
pocket for Jelly Tots – but blimey, it’s magical. Toasting marshmallows over
an open braai, tracking a family of rhinos on foot – it’s the stuff of
memories.
OUR SECOND hotel, Jaci’s Safari Lodge, is also the stuff of memories. Not all
of them good. It has been a 4½ hour drive west to the Madikwe Reserve, the
last hour along a dirt road whose bumpy contours become etched like a
sonograph line across our brains.
“Your game drive leaves at 4.30,” says the manager. “Tea is at four o’clock.”
I look at my watch: 4.17pm. “How long is the game drive?” I ask. “Three and
a half hours,” he says. I look at the kids: the five-year-old has his head
on the table; the baby starts to cry. I know exactly how he feels.
In the end, we do go for the game drive. In for a penny. And it’s great. They
have the Big Five here in Madikwe Reserve – lion, leopard, rhino, elephant,
buffalo – and where Ant’s Nest can occasionally test your passion for kudus,
zebras and wildebeest, at Jaci’s we are following a pride of lions stalking
impalas. “Who do you want to win?” asks the five-year-old, suddenly
uncertain.
The lions do, and it’s incredible. Impalas are doing cartwheels over lunging
jaws, hooves are thundering past the Jeep. And as if the censors have
arranged the moment themselves, the kill itself happens discreetly off set,
away behind a bush, close enough that we can actually feel the growling and
ripping on our eardrums, but not so in-your-tiny-face that the five-year-old
has to witness eyeballs rolling, hooves twitching, jugulars pumping. That
said, he’d probably love a jugular pumping. “Did you see their bloody
faces?” he keeps saying to anyone who’ll listen, wild-eyed, aflame.
So, the wildlife at Jaci’s Safari Lodge is fantastic. We see elephants,
buffaloes, lions chasing giraffes, and more birds than a three-year-old can
shake a £400 digital camera at while shouting: “My turn, get off!” Likewise,
our guide, Nico, is a great big, wide-smiled, overgrown toddler of a man,
endlessly amused by our boys, for ever ready with a Lion King reference to
help explain a point. We love him, as we love Naomi, who sits in the dark
watching the boys at night while the wife and I eat kudu pot roast beneath
the stars.
But. Is it the rooms (glorified tents, surrounded by a slightly oppressive,
encroaching scrub), is it the size (there are eight thatch-covered tents,
but it feels like a larger, slicker operation)? Somehow, we never quite fall
for the lodge itself. At Ant’s Nest, someone has written “Doesn’t get better
for a family break” in the guestbook. At Jaci’s Safari Lodge, the only
guestbook reference to kids is this: “Wonderful experience, shame about the
riotous children in the restaurant.”
Is it worth it, then? Well, it’ll seriously help if your sister lives in
Johannesburg (or failing that, if you can factor in an extra night around
Jo’burg to recover from the flight). I pretty much dribbled my way through
the first 24 hours, which isn’t ideal if you’re paying £500 or so per day
for the privilege. Because safari doesn’t come cheap: five nights with
flights will cost you more than £5,000 with a couple of kids. Throw in a
baby and you’re getting closer to £6,000. You could live for eight weeks at
Center Parcs for less.
My God, it’s good, though. Will they remember any of it a year from now? Who
knows, but driving back from the lion-kill that evening, the boys opening
and closing their mouths to make flute sounds on the warm dusk wind, the
wife clutching my hand beneath the blanket, I know I will.
— Jeremy Lazell travelled as a guest of Original Travel (020 7978 7333, www.originaltravel.co.uk),
which has five nights, full-board, at Jaci’s Safari Lodge and Ant’s Nest
from £5,400, based on a family of four, with children under 11; under2s cost
an extra £430. The price includes flights from Heathrow to Johannesburg with
British Airways, all transfers, activities, permits and baby-sitting. One
night at the InterContinental Airport Sun hotel in Johannesburg adds £380, B&B
Five more family safaris
Prices are based on a family of four and, unless otherwise stated, include
flights from London, transfers, meals and activities
SOUTH AFRICA
The nonmalarial Cape is safari-lite at its best, particularly good for little
kids, with penguin and seal colonies, elephant reserves, and dolphin-and
whale-watching day trips from Hermanus. It also has magnificent beaches,
while Cape Town itself is a great adrenaline-sports hub for families with
teens. Alternatively, Kruger National Park has cool camps for kids – it’s
malarial, but this is proper Big Five safari at its best. The Adventure
Company (0845 450 5316, www.adventurecompany.co.uk)
has a range of family group tours in South Africa, including teen-only and
single-parent departures. The 13-day Rainbow Nation Family Tour (ages 5+)
costs from £5,576, based in Mpumalanga (base for Kruger), Swaziland and
Umhlanga Rocks.
NAMIBIA
Almost terrifyingly vast, and palpably, biblically ancient, Namibia is a place
that intimidates but inspires. The Skeleton Coast, the Namib, Etosha
National Park, quad-biking, sand-boarding, and seal colonies galore – it’s a
staggering playground, with a wealth of small, flexible, owner-run camps to
make you feel looked after. Audley Travel (01993 838000, www.audleytravel.com)
has 12 nights, self-drive, in Namibia for £7,800, including three nights,
full-board, at Okaukuejo Camp in Etosha, three at Desert Homestead near
Sossusvlei dunes, plus two nights, B&B, in both Windhoek and Swakopmund.
Ages 10+; malarial.
KENYA
Many camps here are run by reformed “Kenya cowboys”, who grew up in the bush
and are now bringing up their own children at the lodge – and they’ll instil
in your kids a great “can-do” sense of adventure. Throw in an abundance of
superb beaches and resorts for your après-safari, and Kenya probably puts up
the most compelling case for bringing the kids along. Original Travel (020
7978 7333, www.originaltravel.co.uk)
has the seven-day Kenya Kids’ Safari from £8,280, including three nights at
Elsa’s Kopje in Meru National Park and three nights at Loisaba on the
Laikipia plateau; activities include fishing, riding, camel-trekking,
ballooning (8+), rafting, game drives and walks, village visits, and nights
out under the stars. A three-night Lamu beach extension is £2,970. Infants
not recommended; malarial.
BOTSWANA
Brilliant, well-protected game – probably the best in Africa – and what’s
more, your family gets to go around in dugout canoes, coming close enough to
elephants to smell their breath. It couldn’t be more thrilling if the San
bushmen came along as your guide. And they do. Based in camps in the
Okavango Delta – Shinde, which has a separate enclosure for families, and
Okuti, which has two-bedroom traditional family rondavels – the eight-day
Young Explorer trip through Families Worldwide (0845 051 4567, www.familiesworldwide.co.uk),
costing from £9,496, is a Tarzan apprenticeship, with lessons in tracking,
fishing, bug-hunting, weaving, bush-cooking and even rifle-shooting. Ages
5+; malarial.
ZAMBIA
For sheer variety, nowhere beats Zambia. Older kids have Victoria Falls, the
all-bungee, all-rafting adrenaline capital of Africa; younger kids have
Robin Pope’s camps in the South Luangwa, where they can overnight in a local
village, sharing jobs with kids their age. Internal flights are cheap,
safaris can be done by canoe, horse, elephant and on foot and, at
neighbouring Lake Malawi, the beach and snorkelling are superb. Zambia has
“proper” wild camps, with lions roaring close by and hippos wallowing below
your riverside tent. With direct flights three times a week, it’s hard to
ignore. Aardvark Safaris (01980 849160, www.aardvarksafaris.com)
has 12 nights from £14,000, staying in private family units at all camps,
including Chundukwa River Lodge near Victoria Falls, Robin’s House in the
South Luangwa, and Kasaka River Lodge in the Lower Zambezi National Park;
four-night beach extensions at Mumbo Island on Lake Malawi add £3,000. Ages
6+; malarial. Keep your family healthy
Precautions
Safaris take place in developing, often tropical, countries, with all the
associated diseases. Take the right precautions, though, and the risks are
minimal.
Malaria is the number-one concern of many parents. Don’t just assume it will
be present: the South African Cape and Namibian safaris detailed here are in
malaria-free areas, and even where the disease is endemic, the mosquitoes
that carry it may be scarce or absent during the dry season.
Ask your tour operator and your GP for the latest advice on the risk. Malarone
is usually the favoured prophylactic: it’s not foolproof, but the makers
claim a protection rate of 98%. The drug is now available in paediatric
doses for children weighing 11kg or more. You’ll need a prescription, and
it’s not cheap – up to £3 per daily dose – but supermarkets such as Asda and
Tesco have some good deals.
Once there, take sensible precautions against your kids being bitten by
mosquitoes. Use plenty of insect repellent, reapplied often; sleep under
nets; and cover up at dawn and dusk.
Your family may well need vaccinations, too, which might include hepatitis A
or B, typhoid, yellow fever and rabies. What you require depends on many
factors, including the destination, timing and type of trip: talk the issues
through with your GP at least two months before you travel.
If a full on safari is too much to contemplate with young children I can highly recommend Rhino Base Camp 15 mins from Plettenberg Bay on the Garden Route www.plettenbergbaygamereserve.co.za. They take children of any age and do 2 hour safaris. I took my 2.5 year old last year and he loved it. Just the right length of time to keep him interested and they have lions, rhinos, hippos etc, in fact everything except elephants. Over a year later he still talks about it even though we have been on other equally exotic holidays since.
Mollie, UK,